Last month was going to be the last leg of me living in Japan. I thought it will be meaningful to write something about it.
Spending these 2 years with Cass while working semi-remotely in Japan and getting paid in SGD has been... fun.
I guess.
Haha.
Ok I'm making it sound bad but I think there is net fun overall. I get to go to more places, somehow made more friends and got closer to existing friends because we hosted them in our apartment, get to ramble about the culture and society here with Cass, and go to concerts and baseball events, all without the stress of working in a Japanese company that drove me home the last time I lived here.
I guess it's less fun than the last time because I'm coming here with my rose tinted glasses already shattered, and I felt like I have a hard time sharing the same sense of wonder Cass has when she encounter interesting things here.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I enjoy nothing here. There are things in Japan which I appreciate, like the benefits of a society-first mentality, the freshness and quality of food ingredient, sushi, nature, a strong design scene where capitalism and pragmatism is an afterthought, etc. These are things I love about Japan before and this trip reconfirmed it.
It is likewise for the things I dislike though. Low variety of daily food, unpredictable weather, lack of shelters (which makes the weather point worse), crowded trains, tatemae, irritating paperwork, their focus on domestic stuff like you can't use overseas credit cards in some places, need Japanese phone number for verification, ...). When face with these things I'm like..."yep this is the Japan I knew and left".
A big issue I had was loneliness. Yes I have Cass but she's the only real physical interaction I have (other than friends I visit). I am an introvert but god not having anyone else to yap to is really painful. I do have friend working here but... they don't even meet much (like once every two or more year). I'm so grateful to my friends now who drop by my streams or talk with me into the late night. Now I understand how hamsters can die from loneliness.
I think it's...safe to say that I'm rather tired of Japan. I'm not sure if I will ever be excited to go to Japan alone. I'm not downplaying PTSD, but there are some small things I see in Japan that mildly triggers me, (like how obnoxiously noisy train stations are in their announcements). The good news is that I enjoy Singapore a lot more.
I do sense a change in Japan though I'm not sure what to make of it. There are more immigrants now, notably to fill the odd conbini jobs. I feel like there is a sense of desperation in the air with the poor economy, which I think makes citizens who love foreigners love them more and nationalistic people hate them more. Youngster seem to be looking for more international opportunities (more interest in learning english), and seem to reject toxic work culture more. There's also reduced alcohol consumption too. Service feels like it's on a decline too but maybe that's a Tokyo thing. Tokyo is really a pressure cooker)
I do wonder what's going to happen to Japan in the future. But for now I'm done.
以上.